Preston Mitchell's Blog

Parent Judges

Last night, my son Cameron and I got into it a little when I made a cautionary comment about something he had done.  Then he gave me the response that every parent loves to hear  because it is biblical.  He said, "Dad, don't judge me. You don't know me.  You can't judge me. The Bible says so."  At that point, the paint brush I was holding was jjust about ready to reign down judgment on his skinny self.

I've thought a lot about what the Bible says about judging.  Are we wrong as parents if we warn our children about someone or something and risk being judgmental?  I am no bible scholar, but it is clear to me that we as followers of Christ have an obligation to confront someone on an obvious sin in their lives.  The more important question is the way we do it.  

In the famous passage in Matthew 7, Jesus tells his followers this: ¹"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ²For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

 ³"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? ⁴How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? ⁵You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.

In this verse, Jesus doesn't tell us not to judge, but be in the right spiritual mind before we tackle someone else's problem.  We have to realize that we are sinners, seek forgiveness for our sins, turn from acting on our sins, then we are in a place to approach someone else. I also believe it is something we should do hesitantly and with great love and grace.  It also has to be shared with someone we have built a special bond with. There are only two or three guys who can judge me.  When they do, I trust their judgment.

We are also obligated to teach the young, tell them of what God has done in our lives and warn them of the dangers of falling away from Christ.  I think the word discernment is better than the word judge.  When I warn my children about something, I do it from a discerning eye for their protection and safety.  If our kids are hanging out with the wrong people, we still stand strong and pull our kid out of that group.  Are we judging?  Not really.  We are simply carrying out our responsibility as parents to protect our kids based on years of experience.  We have to call it like we see it.

I don't know if I answered my question or not!  But it is something that is worth consideration because it happens almost every day.  We make judgments on people, policies, finances, friends, etc.  I believe that if we are following the Lord, he will help us to avoid harshly judging people and allow us to speak truth in love. 

This whole "judgemen"t thing may be one of the most difficult principles to explain. If you have a thought, share it.

 

The World of Color

I've changed.  I just realized that fact a couple of weeks ago while in a meeting with several staff members.  For a few months, I've not been myself.  Friends and staff were wondering what was wrong with me.  And I was wondering what was wrong with me.  I was a little slower, more forgetful, disconnected and unhappy.  That's not like me at all!  Some of my best friends on staff who were concerned about me began to ask me a lot of questions.  For the first time in my life, I was challenged to verbalize who I was and what I was experiencing....and even I was surprised about what I said.

After 2 1/2 years of bad health, dialysis, kidney transplant, 4 surgeries in 2008, 2 weddings last summer, I changed.  I was not the same as I had been in the past.  The best way to describe my life today is by using painting terms. Painting has given me a whole different perspective of life.  For the past year, I have taken up painting and it has become a passion of mine.  I love to sketch and paint.  When I look at a landscape, or a sunset or a grove of trees, I see color and shape that I never noticed before.  What I have discovered through painting is that I used to look at life through black and white lenses.  Now, I live and think in color.  Here is what a I mean:

I used to worry more about numbers, percentages, growth, programs, processes, meetings etc.  I was driven as a younger man to live out the vision and purpose of Fellowship Church. We had a short season to get it done and through God's grace we were able to build a great church.  Today, I still work to fulfill the vision, but in a different way.  I think more about people, relationships, my family, retirement, grandchildren and finances.  I never used to worry about stuff like that.  But I figure that I have at most 25 years left on this earth.  So, what will I do differently the next 25 years?  I think more about the future than I do the week.  For 20 years, all I thought about was the weekends.  That's different today.

I recognized that my role at Fellowship was changing and that was tough to take.  I was becoming more distant and less trusting of the staff for no reason at all.  The last 20 years has been an incredible time in my life.  I've seen and done things that I thought were impossible.  But now, it's time to let the younger staff take over for the next 20 years.  I'll still be leading, but in a different way.  I want to spend more time teaching and training our younger staff.  I've learned a lot over the years and I can help them.  I love working with our students and preparing them for the future.

I cry more than I ever did.  I never cried.  I kept my emotions bottled up no matter what.  If you asked my wife, she wouldn't agree. I still hide when I cry, but I do cry more. And at the dumbest things. I was working out the other day while listening to a Hillsong CD and I started weeping and praising God.  Fortunately, no one witnessed that spectacle.

Instead of reading the paper at my local coffee shop, I sketch people sitting around me.  I have a sketch book full of faces - some good, some not so good.  When I sketch them, I try to pick up clues about their personality, or what they do for a living.  Are they happy?  I can't believe that I do that.  I actually did a pastel sketch of roses the other day.  Wow!  Talk about thinking in color!  HA!

Some of you may be thinking that I am just going through a mid-life crisis.  That may be part of it.  But I think it was more of a faith crisis.  My faith had waned.  Through my distrust and alieanation, I had slipped from the presence of God. Now, my faith is stronger than ever.  Because of all the stuff I have been through, I am more prepared to see God's panoramic plan for my life. Thinking in color has freed me up to be myself, to be vulnerable, to ask forgiveness, to stop and talk to people more.  I also am able to experience the love of God on a deeper level.

I am at an awesome time in my life.