The World of Color

I've changed.  I just realized that fact a couple of weeks ago while in a meeting with several staff members.  For a few months, I've not been myself.  Friends and staff were wondering what was wrong with me.  And I was wondering what was wrong with me.  I was a little slower, more forgetful, disconnected and unhappy.  That's not like me at all!  Some of my best friends on staff who were concerned about me began to ask me a lot of questions.  For the first time in my life, I was challenged to verbalize who I was and what I was experiencing....and even I was surprised about what I said.

After 2 1/2 years of bad health, dialysis, kidney transplant, 4 surgeries in 2008, 2 weddings last summer, I changed.  I was not the same as I had been in the past.  The best way to describe my life today is by using painting terms. Painting has given me a whole different perspective of life.  For the past year, I have taken up painting and it has become a passion of mine.  I love to sketch and paint.  When I look at a landscape, or a sunset or a grove of trees, I see color and shape that I never noticed before.  What I have discovered through painting is that I used to look at life through black and white lenses.  Now, I live and think in color.  Here is what a I mean:

I used to worry more about numbers, percentages, growth, programs, processes, meetings etc.  I was driven as a younger man to live out the vision and purpose of Fellowship Church. We had a short season to get it done and through God's grace we were able to build a great church.  Today, I still work to fulfill the vision, but in a different way.  I think more about people, relationships, my family, retirement, grandchildren and finances.  I never used to worry about stuff like that.  But I figure that I have at most 25 years left on this earth.  So, what will I do differently the next 25 years?  I think more about the future than I do the week.  For 20 years, all I thought about was the weekends.  That's different today.

I recognized that my role at Fellowship was changing and that was tough to take.  I was becoming more distant and less trusting of the staff for no reason at all.  The last 20 years has been an incredible time in my life.  I've seen and done things that I thought were impossible.  But now, it's time to let the younger staff take over for the next 20 years.  I'll still be leading, but in a different way.  I want to spend more time teaching and training our younger staff.  I've learned a lot over the years and I can help them.  I love working with our students and preparing them for the future.

I cry more than I ever did.  I never cried.  I kept my emotions bottled up no matter what.  If you asked my wife, she wouldn't agree. I still hide when I cry, but I do cry more. And at the dumbest things. I was working out the other day while listening to a Hillsong CD and I started weeping and praising God.  Fortunately, no one witnessed that spectacle.

Instead of reading the paper at my local coffee shop, I sketch people sitting around me.  I have a sketch book full of faces - some good, some not so good.  When I sketch them, I try to pick up clues about their personality, or what they do for a living.  Are they happy?  I can't believe that I do that.  I actually did a pastel sketch of roses the other day.  Wow!  Talk about thinking in color!  HA!

Some of you may be thinking that I am just going through a mid-life crisis.  That may be part of it.  But I think it was more of a faith crisis.  My faith had waned.  Through my distrust and alieanation, I had slipped from the presence of God. Now, my faith is stronger than ever.  Because of all the stuff I have been through, I am more prepared to see God's panoramic plan for my life. Thinking in color has freed me up to be myself, to be vulnerable, to ask forgiveness, to stop and talk to people more.  I also am able to experience the love of God on a deeper level.

I am at an awesome time in my life. 

Comments

[Liz]

Wow. Thanks for letting us see this side of you. You definitely have a world of knowledge to impart to us "younger folk." Thanks for all you do!

[David Womack]

Super Preston!

Thank so much for being so transparent. I'm so thankful for all your hard work. I am one of the 'caught and released', and have been so inspired through the time I've been exposed to the great things Fellowship Church has done over the years.

BTW I think you will be contacted for those sketches in the future! I see some print pieces and videos coming from the hands of Preston Mitchell!!

Much love to you and the family

[Charlene Cook]

Thank you so much for sharing your story because it sounds so much like mine. Your blogs read as a person really fired up about their faith so I guess I read correctly. You are blessed to have people concerned enough in your life and Fellowship Church is being blessed to have you train up the next generation.