Preston Mitchell's Blog

Father

Being a father is one of the greatest joys of my life.  I am not the best father by far, but to this point the kids have turned out great, thanks to my wife.  Looking back to the birth of Whitney in 1984, neither one of us had a clue about parenting.  We didn't even know how to change a diaper, so we were starting from scratch.

There were some great days and some horrible days.  But most of my days parenting consisted of praying, using a lot of common sense and always  believing that God has a purpose for these children he had blessed us with.  Now that they are all gone, I am surprised by the fact that I am still parenting.  The only difference is they listen now!  I am a survivor.  Here are some of the things I learned about being a parent:

1.    You can never afford children.  When you have them, God supernaturally expands the budget to allow you to somehow make it.  When they become teens, you turn into a ATM machine shooting out $20's at an unbelievable pace.

2.    Teaching them to value authority is vital.  One of the biggest problems I see in preschoolers to teenagers today is lack of respect for authority.  Most of them have never been told no, and so they feel that anything they do is their business.  Once they get their first real job, they will discover that's not the way the world works.  We fall under someone's authority at almost every point of our life.  And we are all under the authority of our heavenly Father!  I see way to much permissive parenting around and parents are asking for trouble down the road.

3.    Leading them to Christ is our responsibility Dads.  It's not the pastor, your wive, neighbors or anyone else.  I believe that God intended the spiritual leader of the family to lead children to Christ.  When you understand that, it really makes you think about how you live your life around preschoolers.  They watch, listen and learn from you.  How will you lead them to Christ if you aren't following Christ yourself.

4.    The way we treat our wives is the most influential part of parenting.  We model Christ's love to our children and in most cases, they are going to model the love you taught them as a husband and wife.

5.    We are responsible for the legacy we pass to our kids.  We will all pass down a legacy, the question is what will it be?  A legacy of love, joy and integrity, or a legacy of bitterness, selfishness and addiction.  The Bible is clear about generational curses being passed from one generation to another.  You may be the generation to break the curse! 

6.    The church is the most important extra curricular activity for the family. We decided at the beginning that we would center our lives around the church.  Even before I became a pastor, we did that.  God has blessed our family with great kids because of our commitment to His church.

I could add other things on, but I'll let you do that if you want.  I am so privileged to have Whitney, Mallory and Cameron and Dedo, the greatest wife in the world.  My daughters have married two strong Christ-followers who love them as Christ loved the church!   I am sure Cameron will find a godly wife as he gets older.

As I celebrate Father's Day, I just thank God for taking my hand and leading me down the path of fatherhood!

Anniversary

Today marks the one year anniversary of my kidney transplant.  It's hard to believe that it's been a year.  This is a strategic anniversary because I now have a much better chance of keeping the kidney longer after surviving for a year. 

As I think back to one year ago today, it was Easter Sunday.  As we celebrated the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus, I was experiencing resurrection from near death on that day.  I grieve for the young boy who died so that I could live.  I thank God for the team of nurses and doctors who made the miracle happen.  I thank all my friends who visited, brought food, sent cards and prayed for me.  I thank God for the family of staff at Fellowship Church who supported our family through some difficult times.  Most of all, I thank God for His healing power in my life. My kidney is working well and I am considered normal (by most people).  I also thank God for Dedo, who not only had to care for me, but plan two weddings last summer.  She was my rock and I could not have done it without her.

Someone asked me last night if I ever felt angry at God for allowing kidney failure to happen to me.  I can honestly say that I never was angry at God.  I asked a lot of questions, I had doubts and disappointments, but God never let me down.  Through everything, He was present with me at all times.

How long will this kidney last?  I don't know.  I just know that I am going to enjoy all the days I have left to follow after my Savior.

Crisis of Ageing

I think I have officially entered a middle-aged crisis. It's taken me a long time to get to this point.  The key is to find my way out of the crisis while still growing older.  Age is more of a mental state than a physical state.  When the mid-life crises strike, we can't let our minds grow old.  It is easy to do.  I find myself more aware of the changes in my body, the aches and pains,  feeling out of place in a room full of younger people, worrying about retirement and whether I have done a good job of preparing my family financially.  Am I relevant and do I replinish the people I hang around with or do I just drain the life out of them?  I find that today more than ever, I have to challenge myself to stay mentally young.  Working as a student pastor is a good way to do that.  Trying to keep up with the challenges that face our teens keeps me young at heart.  But if you aren't a student pastor, here are some of the things you can do to keep your mind young:

*    Dress as young as I can without looking like an idiot.   There is a fine line.  What you wear determines how you feel.  Best way to tell is to ask one of your children.  They will tell you the truth.

*    Hang around younger people.  It's more exciting to be with younger people.  When I am around people my age (for the most part) I feel old.  

*    Keep up with technology like Facebook and Twitter.  You can go overboard with them, but like it or not, that's what younger people are using today to build community.  I don't have a Kindle yet, but who knows?

*   Read books and newspapers and go to movies.  Keping up with the culture is important to staying relevant to our culture. 

*    Remember that we are a vital resource to our community.  I can help younger men who may be struggling in marriage or jobs or whatever.  I can look back and say that I have just about experienced it all.  

*    Change taste in music.  I will always love the Beatles, but now I enjoy John Mayer, Cold Play and Sara Barriles among others.  Sorry, I can't do the rap thing.  Having a 19-year old musician in the house will make me listen to all kinds of music.

*   Serving at a church with an exciting future.  I pray to God that I stay in the mainstream of life so that I can make a difference for Him.  I love Fellowship Church and what God is doing today and what He will do in the future. I can't miss it.

If you are like me, keep it young. 

Real Life Marriage

The fight is on at the Mitchell house.  Do we or do we not move to a smaller home?  Maybe even a town home.  Dedo and I have been debating this decision for several months.  Most of our kids have left the house and the last one is getting close to leaving.   As I get older, the less I want to do around the house.  I am tired of paying money for a pool we never use, for a huge lawn and landscaping costs, electric and gas bills that are out the roof....you get the picture.  Dedo, on the other hand, wants to have a house large enough to sleep 12 - that is if our kids and their familes want to stay with us.  It looks like all of them are going to live around here, so do we really need that big of a house?  She wants a home that is large enought to have 50 people over for dinner.  I don't even know 50 people. She wants square footage, I want less footage . I want to travel.  She wants to host events.   Seems like a train wreck about to happen.

This is the age old question - who decides the deal?  According to Scripture, I am the head of the household.  When a decision cannot be reached by mutual consent, I have the final say.  Sounds good until you are faced with that decision.  But after 28 years of marriage, I would not make a decision unless Dedo agrees with me.  I trust her judgement more than I trust my own.  She is right more times than I am. God gifts women with a discernment that men don't have.  Any man who thinks they know more than their wife is kidding himself.  

So I have decided to put a halt on moving.  The economy is so wacky and there are so many unanswered questions in my life that this is not a good time to make a major decision.  Dedo and I have mutually agreed that later this spring, we will revisit our decision and see where we think God is directing.  I've decided to look at refinancing and working on things around the house that need fixing. 

We feel great about that decision - and we made it as a team.  God knows best how to wire a marriage together.  And when we do it His way, it always works for the good.  

Off the Payroll

January 5^th was a special day.  My last child has finally left the family payroll.  For parents, that is a huge deal.  Cameron graduated from high school and decided he wanted to work at Fellowship.  There is no doubt he is where God has gifted him to be.  After sending two kids to college, I don’t have to pay tuition, books and room and board again. Marrying off two daughters this summer has significantly lowered our expenses. They give money to us now halleluiah!  Cameron is paying for his car payment, gas, food, clothes, dates and all other expenses.  We let him live at home, but that’s it.  When he gets married, I am not financially responsible! This may be a tough ecomomic year for the US, but I am llooking forward to it. 

 

For all you parents with little kids, there is hope.  Enjoy the time and money you spend with your children because it is well worth it.  Live within your income and bring the tithe to the House and God will bless you.  But when the kids leave, celebrate good times, come on!  We love our kids, but Dedo and I can do just about anything we want to now.  I will be ready for grandkids in about 5 years, but I am enjoying right where I am in my life. 

If you see me with a big grin, now you know why!